1.
To all GCSE pupils, my maths teacher told me I was going to be a dodgy 2nd hand car salesman. Well look at me now. Can't even drive ya cunt
— Seann Walsh (@seannwalsh) August 24, 2017
2.
someone told me Neil from Art Attack is Banksy and I believe it
— kd (@kirstindx) July 26, 2017
3.
When your mum sends you to the chippy to get some chips and doesn't ask for her change back pic.twitter.com/rsQpT1QOlJ
— ᴊᴀᴍᴇs (@ffsJames_) August 28, 2017
4.
Hate when I get delivery and my mum says "thought u where skint" mind ur own fucking business hen xx
— kxriss (@karissgx) May 23, 2017
5.
I NEED TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE SAID I COULD SAVE MONEY BRINGIN LUNCH TO WORK ITS 9:43 I ATE THE LUNCH NOW I HAVE TO BUY ANOTHER LUNCH FOR LUNCH pic.twitter.com/hKd6p2AaiA
— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) July 3, 2017
6.
My mum just put her hands over the dogs face when an rspca advert came on and said 'you don't need to be seeing your friends in that state'
— Jess Hellawell (@jessy_hellawell) July 28, 2017
7.
Is it just me or does this sandal look like the bead game in the doctors waiting roompic.twitter.com/utWn7YhiPS
—ichal (@michal97x) August 5, 2017
8.
honestly last night someone asked me if crabs think we walk sideways n a havent stopped thinkin about it since
— ninaa (@ninagilbert7) July 16, 2017
9.
Marks & Spencer are catering for the kind of kid I was at school pic.twitter.com/mY8FtrHQzU
— Charlie Condou (@Charliecondou) June 13, 2017
10.
me n andy r out for lunch look at the size of this pepper grinder lmfaoooooo pic.twitter.com/KLlAtmQbKm
— Kels fergo (@kelsfergo_) May 28, 2017
11.
@gabyarchibong12
12.
Perfect Peter always looking like he's about to drop a speech about why the working class should be hunted for sport pic.twitter.com/yM7b3Qs2DD
— rob (@serendipetty) August 8, 2017
13.
This how fans of sherlock and doctor who pose for their Facebook photos pic.twitter.com/PG0n4ewBac
— aaron (@yuckaaron) January 26, 2017
14.
The joke:
— Abdi (@AbdiTV) July 5, 2017
──────── 00:07
The lecture my parents give me after they take the joke too seriously:
──────── 08:04:43
15.
"how much did you spend this weekend?" pic.twitter.com/QETWkSBYVq
— Joseph O'Brien (@BassLake0405) July 9, 2017
16.
coworker: any big plans after work tonight?
— ellie bate (@eleanorbate) May 15, 2017
me: pic.twitter.com/haP3FKTqhY
17.
David Cameron is so posh his bare feet look like loafers pic.twitter.com/aGFhU8BwJj
— Claire Phipps (@Claire_Phipps) August 3, 2017
18.
@emptyvessels
19.
The shameful legacy of Bullseye continues to blight our streets. pic.twitter.com/l4cYb6kYtD
— Phlegm Clandango (@Cain_Unable) August 14, 2017
20.
Saw this on the tube today, I had to get off and wait for the next one. pic.twitter.com/7IZVR4TQcw
— (@WMFormation) July 14, 2017
21.
Be outside portaloo's at festivals waiting for a piss n 10 gal will walk out like it's the fuckin tardis off doctor who
— Jaydn King (@jaydnking) June 11, 2017
22.
that's diluting juice phahahah pic.twitter.com/2hNnTvMVZx
— Brogan Tant (@broganntannt) July 3, 2017
23.
Delivery guy: Could I use your toilet?
— Barnesy (@3arnesy) July 27, 2017
Me: Yes sure it's the door under the stairs.
Delivery guy: Which one?
Me: Erm, the person sized door. pic.twitter.com/DBBpYiUC1W
24.
@AbdiTV
25.
Customers just asked me what perfume I've got on, didn't have the heart to tell her I'd febreze'd myself so I said it were Marc Jacobs ffs
— Holly (@hollbrown_) June 10, 2017
26.
when your nan brings the biscuit barrel out.. pic.twitter.com/YpSA3AV7qh
— georgia (@georgiajacks0n) May 22, 2017
27.
WIFE: This is for a tweet isn't it… pic.twitter.com/IdmJSTDtnf
— Ian Kingston (@IanJKingston) May 22, 2017
28.
Someone has got to be editing his head because I refuse to believe it's that disproportionate pic.twitter.com/saIPC8GT56
— LK (@ellkay_) June 28, 2017
29.
"I'd like you to paint me a cat."
— Stephanie Boland (@stephanieboland) May 3, 2017
"A what?"
"A cat. You do know what a cat is, right? You've seen a cat?"
"Uh, yeah. Of course." pic.twitter.com/GeYOogkWO5
30.
Feel like pure shit just want her back pic.twitter.com/MvxUaqYLLA
— tracey (@_amandamulligan) June 13, 2017
31.
I'm begging of you please don't take my man pic.twitter.com/rFkRMFhdkl
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) July 3, 2017
32.
Someone is taking gear in the boys toilets "not a problem leave it to me I'll check" pic.twitter.com/J4RRj1rV5H
— Lewis blackley (@Lewisblackley12) May 29, 2017