#1
me:
men on dating apps: LOOKING FOR MY PARTNER IN CRIME. A DOWN TO EARTH GIRL. LETS SKIP THE SMALLTALK AND GO STRAIGHT TO A FIRST DATE. ALL BAR ONE. PLANNING MY NEXT TRIP TO SOUTH AMERICA. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET. NANDOS. SIX PHOTOS OF ME TAKEN FROM BELOW. ARCTIC MONKEYS.
imteddybless / Via twitter.com

#2
millennial dating
u: hey wyd wednesday
them: working to survive. wyd saturday
u: being tired from working to survive then laundry
them: nice
jaboukie / Via twitter.com

#3
Me: why am I single
Me: declines every date, takes 3-5 business days to answer text, shows no emotion, can’t parallel park
alyssadivinc / Via twitter.com

#4

KadenG_55 / Via twitter.com

#5

itssdarwinnn / Via twitter.com

#6
pls don’t flirt w me, i’m not tryna cheat on my crush who don’t like me
702Austin / Via twitter.com

#7
Why doesn’t anybody love me the way people on Catfish love strangers who won’t video chat
MichaelaOkla / Via twitter.com

#8
I just swiped right on so many girls without getting a match that I looked around to see if I was on a subway without service.
jtrain56 / Via twitter.com

#9

aidan / Via twitter.com

#10

JayNedaj / Via twitter.com

#11

OutterSpaceSWAG / Via twitter.com

#12
I don’t get how u cheat on a significant other. like how do you get 2 different ppl to like u. how
aspiringtoucan / Via twitter.com

#13
There’s plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? TRASH. There is a lot of trash in the sea.
25Average_ / Via twitter.com

#14
Day 329 without sex: I went to Starbucks just so I could hear somebody scream my name
ryankii / Via twitter.com

#15
If you’re on a first date and make the other person laugh, I think a good thing to ask right after that is “Do you like me?”
KevinFarzad / Via twitter.com

#16

cottoncandaddy / Via twitter.com

#17
*gets ghosted*
Me: thank you for the 15-day free trial
THEMYSTICS13 / Via twitter.com

#18
things u have to ask a white guy on a first date
(1) have u punched a hole in a wall
(2) have u ever killed an animal just for fun
playnikes / Via twitter.com

#19
To be clear 1 time a tinder guy was coming over n I didn’t have time to fully clean my apt so when he came I told him that I had recently been robbed
alafonda / Via twitter.com

#20
The best part of a relationship is the very beginning when you haven’t met yet and your still single
A_JAYOFFICIAL / Via twitter.com

Preview photo credit: aidan / twitter.com