20 Jokes All Drunk People Will Get

1.
Sober in an Uber: Please don’t talk to me. I don’t know you.
Drunk in an Uber: I want to get married one day, but I put up emotional walls @long_pussy_lips

2. Last night I was so drunk I replied to my own text @losingseIf

3. when you’re drunk and everything is hilarious ZACKARAD

4. I love drunk me but I don’t trust her urbancatfitters

5. You drunkenly fall into one bathtub with your pants around your ankles, breaking the curtain rod and all of a sudden, everyone is a critic @JeremyKCMO

6. When you watch your my story the next day and realize you were drunk and annoying @drunk

7. When you come home at 2am and your dogs like @drunk

8. getting drunk is just a way of stealing happiness from tomorrow ILLUSTRIOUS

9. When you’re drunk and go on instagram @FillWerrell

10.
Me: Could a drunk person do this!? *assembles Ikea bookcase*
Her: that’s supposed to be a couch. @Gooooats

11. there’s only one way i want to end this year and that’s drunk zinn for the win

12. This moment of disappointment masipopal

13. sure when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she’s a “goddess” but when I do it I’m “drunk” and “no longer welcome at the aquarium” caralarm-bicycles

14.
Cop : HANDS IN THE AIR!
Me: *drunk, starts flailing arms*
Cop: NO, NOT LIKE YOU JUST DON’T CARE @Notoliviasteel

15. When you’re drunk but not as drunk as your friend @OnlyBroCodes