1. This dad who has never been more turned on by his partner
Just found that my wife lied about our kids age in order to get her in to a particular summer camp. Pretty sexy.
@StephenAmell

2. This dad who knows how to properly tuck in a child
son: dad can you check under my bed
me: no monster could fit under there unless it was tiny and if it’s tiny it could be anywhere. night son
@callmebproc

3. This dad who knows parents don’t get breaks
Me: Finally, a couple of minutes to sit down.
My kids: Hold our juice boxes.
@R_A_Dadass

4. This dad who spends $$$ on Michael Jordan shoes for his kid for no apparent reason
I get my son all the Js. My ma got him some light up Spider-Man’s from Walmart & he wore them thangs til they split open
@OhUFrancyHuh82

5. This dad who is offering to share his knowledge with the world
My kids just explained all of Minecraft to me if anyone has any questions
@BillEvenson

6. This dad who always teaches his kids important lessons
[1st day of school]
me: remember what I told u
my kids: [in unison] DON’T OVERQUOTE SUN TZU’S ART OF WAR
m: and?
mk: ERASERS ARE NOT GUM
@AndyAsAdjective

7. This dad who made this accurate observation
It takes my kids 20 minutes to brush their teeth:
1 minute to brush.
And 19 minutes for toothbrush sword fights.
@XplodingUnicorn

8. This husband who is all for doing favors for his wife
I love it when my Wife asks me to look for something in her car because that’s a guaranteed 3 hours away from our screaming kids.
@beefman138

9. This dad who is king of common sense
7yo: Daddy, I can’t find my stuffed animal
Me: Here it is
7yo: How did you find it?
Me: I looked
7yo:
@FatherWithTwins

10. This dad who knows that all discipline goes out the window when you’re faced with bugs
My son terrified of bugs just like me. A bee got in the car and he say “oh shit”. I couldn’t pop him cuz oh shit … oh shit is right son.
@NoBeeetch

11. This dad who makes the ultimate sacrifice
I’ll be going to see the emoji movie today if anyone wants to join me for an hour and a half of self loathing.
@TheUnfitFather

12. This dad who knows a toddler and whistle is never a good combination
Oh good, my toddler found a whistle
@iwearaonesie

13. This dad who sincerely apologizes for his kid’s outbursts
Dear Kids at the Beach,
I’m sorry my three-year-old yelled at you for digging a hole.
@Dadpression

14. This dad who is figuring out what the term “exploring” means to a kid
It’s amazing to watch kids explore & experiment w their personalities.
Unfortunately, my 6yo is currently exploring how annoying he can be.
@DadandBuried

15. And this dad, who knows to never make assumptions
I never thought I’d have to tell my kids, “Stop making goose noises at the neighbors,” yet here we are.
@XplodingUnicorn