1.
Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.
— Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) February 12, 2014
2.
Hey @VirginAmerica, can the pilot crash my plane carefully so that only this guy dies? pic.twitter.com/EHmRrqF6IH
— Bo Burnham (@boburnham) April 22, 2015
3.
*airplane makes really loud noise*
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) January 16, 2015
*pilot on intercom* what the fuck was that
4.
My seatmate, CLT AVL, is this handsome duck named Daniel. His gentle quacking eases the sadness of leaving #SFA16. pic.twitter.com/iDKWCceAFi
— Mark Essig (@mark_essig) October 16, 2016
5.
I went on a flight that had a chat room all passengers could use, after choosing a nickname. I chose "Pilot" pic.twitter.com/aDUA8op9pf
— Stuart Laws (@thisstuartlaws) May 19, 2015
6.
What if you met your soulmate but he loved to clap when the plane lands?
— Alix (@alixmcalpine) June 1, 2015
7.
Wish I could be as cool as people who don't look out the window during an airplane takeoff think they are
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) August 22, 2015
8.
No one in the Virgin America in-flight chat room will talk to me. :( pic.twitter.com/WXNkeQdNu0
— Jake Fogelnest (@jakefogelnest) November 3, 2013
9.
The most determined look I've ever seen on a human being is the airline passenger trying to fit a large suitcase in a small overhead bin.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 29, 2012
10.
One of Hercules' 12 tasks should have been having to deal with airline customer service.
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) September 1, 2014
11.
COOL: Pilot of my flight told me his daughter follows me on Twitter so he's letting me fly the pla
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) March 7, 2013
12.
This day in hyperbole: Delta flight attendant just announced that they're about to begin their "legendary beverage service."
— Carrie Brownstein (@Carrie_Rachel) September 13, 2012
13.
Maybe I'm "on pot" but all of the adults at LAX, in the plane, and at the SF airport are grumpy & I think it's boring and rude
— jenny slate (@jennyslate) December 31, 2014
14.
i paid for in-flight wifi so i could tweet this immediately pic.twitter.com/nnwpcyYC8V
— David Farrier (@davidfarrier) June 23, 2016
15.
That's weird my flight is delayed it Almost never happens
— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) April 29, 2014
16.
There should be a law: You're flying commercial and arrive at airport wearing Polo cologne — mandatory shower at security checkpoint.
— Clinton Kelly (@clinton_kelly) May 25, 2010
17.
Still pondering why my plane smelled like balls. And further questioning why do I know what they smell like.
— bob saget (@bobsaget) October 17, 2014
18.
when the airplane pilot says it's "just a little turbulence" pic.twitter.com/c41w1xW2ZM
— lin-manuel mirandall (@ohrle_) July 5, 2014
19.
Sit down on the plane & the guy next to me goes "sorry.. I just had a ton of Mexican food" lol ok yay
— Sara Vargus (@sarvar_14) November 21, 2015
20.
Southwest airlines is like my period. It hurts my back and it's always late.
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) July 3, 2010