1. On dating
date a girl who is a home and an adventure all at once dateagirlwhosuggestion
Date a girl who doubles as haunted house
seeklight
2. On college
kids, when you’re choosing your college schedule, you’ll hear a voice saying “just take the 8AM class. it won’t be that bad. you’ve done it for this long” that’s the devil talking
nichtwing
3. On contract law
Make deals with the devil while you’re still a child. Contracts signed by minors aren’t legally binding and if satan tries to take your soul he can be prosecuted. Enjoy your perfect grades and lifetime supply of chocolate.
broodingfury
4. On shaving
life hack: cut of your legs, you wont ever have to shave them again
wonclerful
5. On the ocean
if u are in the ocean nd a shark is bout to bite u point to it firmly u hav to do it firmly and say “hey shark dont do that”
darkling1listen
6. On zombie attacks
if zombies ever attack just go to Costco… they have concrete walls… years of foods and supplies… and best of all the zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership card
trelyon
7. On stab wounds
IF YOU GET STABBED DON’T FUCKING REMOVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF YOU IF YOU TAKE IT OUT YOU’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE. morlarty
however if you’re trying to kill someone DON’T FUCKING LEAVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF THEM IF YOU TAKE IT OUT THEY’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE. destielsrainbowdick
there are 2 types of people nomorefallingallifrey
8. On bargains
it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks officialunitedstates
why would i do that lmao insenial
it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free officialunitedstates
9. On breakfast
marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs
radsturbate
10. On Toaster Strudel
COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL
• Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
• Marry them and start a family
• Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
• Make them strudel with no icing
• They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
• Take all six packets for yourself
• Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster
toasterstrudel
11. On height
Hey short people! Looking for a way to get taller?
Try replacing your feet with LIVE BEARS. You’ll be taller AND have two LIVE BEARS ATTACHED TO YOUR BODY.
catcomixzstudios
12. On adversity
When life gets tough it’s time to do some weird shit to your hair
dayzea
Image Credit: NY Daily News
13. On art
how do draw good
• fill 14 sketch book
• bad stuff is good stuff bc you made stuff
• do you like sparkle???? draw sparkle
• draw what make your heart do the smiley emote
• member to drink lotsa agua or else bad time
• d ont stress friend all is well
• your art is hot like potato crisps
• don’t let anyone piss on your good mood amigo
• if they do
• eat
• them
stridersknowbest
14. On phones
Crack your phone screen in advance so you won’t be sad when the screen cracks.
shittyidea
15. On hunger
out of food? try going to the store. many stores will give you food in exchange for money.
adamusprime
16. On bees?
If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth. heckacute
Why the fuck would I do that oboebandgeek99
17.
how the fuck do people just stay motivated their entire lives? what drives you? I got out of bed once and i’ve been exhausted ever since. hairychikubi
You need to learn to hate life to the point where you want to get revenge on existence itself warlocksmith
Best advice ever castielismycherrypie
18. On life hacks
life hack skrelp
what twd-direction
life hack skrelp