1.
also does anyone else find it weird that the middle of the House of Lords is basically laid out like a shoe shop pic.twitter.com/iNCdQPleDV
— Jon Stone (@joncstone) February 20, 2017
2.
hugh grant and colin firth are ok I guess but surely the most desirable thing in bridget jones is her one bedroom flat in borough market
— annie (@annieakaannie) February 20, 2017
3.
When you head to the pub after a seminar but are too nervous to introduce yourself pic.twitter.com/vclXZ8oTQb
— Maurice Casey (@MauriceJCasey) February 8, 2017
4.
leicester coming through yet again with a stunning piece of art pic.twitter.com/Y3DeKqlCOp
— Marianne Eloise (@marianne_eloise) February 24, 2017
5.
"You can eat pancakes any day of the year u know"I can also drag a pine tree into my gaff any day but I usually reserve it for Christmas, ta
— Gnarl Marx (@infinityonhi) February 26, 2017
6.
when you buy a ticket and it doesn't get checked for the entire journey pic.twitter.com/MzzpJTmhK1
— leanne (@leannewynnexo) February 26, 2017
7.
my mum makes picking me up sound so deep pic.twitter.com/gaLYuCTJsH
— Nida (@nidaxiv) January 12, 2016
8.
'You pay for the taxi I'll get you a drink inside' pic.twitter.com/ElT3drnCYB
— AndyMcClelland (@_AndyMcClelland) February 17, 2017
9.
Of course The Doctor has to be white and male, otherwise he'd never want to travel back in time.
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) January 31, 2017
10.
i nearly tripped over a dog on the train and said 'sorry chicken' and someone genuinely . under their breath . said . that's a dog .
— charlotte (@chacketttt) February 19, 2017
11.
What a shitty sequel. pic.twitter.com/ucRXP2VQWF
— Hannah George (@HannahMGeorge) February 15, 2016
12.
Even bathroom handwashes are telling me to visit a psychiatrist. pic.twitter.com/8YfUazpUUj
— Marty Lawrence (@TeaAndCopy) February 15, 2017
13.
i feel like this crab is threatening me pic.twitter.com/0j80edFc8p
— 5th posadist intl (@posadistintl) February 20, 2017
14.
How long did this interview last? pic.twitter.com/fVbOmc7isG
— driscoll (@driscoll324) February 25, 2017
15.
Grand Designs be like: I rock climb for a living and my wife sells umbrella insurance. We have a budget of 1.3 million
— Hungry Travel Style (@laurenjanebee) February 20, 2017
16.
I deh trust the dentist when they start talking in code about your teeth to their wee pal, you got suhin to say say it to ma face prick
— Matthew (@matthewlenniex) December 15, 2016
17.
With the addition of two Post its this episode of Would I Lie To You becomes people-maths. @richardosman pic.twitter.com/izQ4RLZPcm
— Tom Neenan (@TNeenan) January 25, 2017
18.
When somebody's got a cold @ work
(@RussellHayward) February 8, 2017
19.
Andy lost his ID at a gig. Some burd found it and refused to give him it back unless he brought her a thank you balloon pic.twitter.com/ChTithno3O
— Grant Paton (@grEnt_) February 5, 2017
20.
Hello, Great Britain. The results from Transylvania… 12 points to… Ireland… #SuperBowl #SB51 pic.twitter.com/YK5I3h1yAN
— Dæl (@dalehay) February 6, 2017
21.
"Do you think people will know that says arise?"
— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) February 27, 2017
"Yeah, go for it" pic.twitter.com/LoJiMoCmoh
22.
Ma sisters just told me her pal canny get Indians delivered cause she lives on Curry Street n they think it's a prank call
— Lewis (@lewisTVAOF) February 16, 2017
23.
Just in case anyone wonders if you're good at driving pic.twitter.com/XsSWbXqBSL
— kie stampe (@KieeStampe) April 11, 2016
24.
He's not even trying anymore… pic.twitter.com/DHxbkqKy6q
— mo (@chuuew) January 16, 2017
25.
No it doesn't. pic.twitter.com/Ut9ELSR3An
— T'Other Simon (@TOther_Simon) February 4, 2017
26.
he meant croissants am PISHING pic.twitter.com/jD0OTEca4h
— beth (@bethgibney88) February 26, 2017
27.
Oh no, the train announcer just said we have to change for rugby but I haven't brought my kit.
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) February 27, 2017
28.
-You screwed my wife. My own brother. You're dead to me
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) April 21, 2015
-To you
-To me
*They laugh. It fades awkwardly*
-[soft] That won't always work Barry
29.
Someone left his phone at my friend's work. pic.twitter.com/TgGOnSvVPc
— Kat (@katobell) January 28, 2017
30.
But I wanted to call her Daisy pic.twitter.com/Y3ZOPpSoOf
— Craig Deeley (@craiguito) December 27, 2014
31.
Fair enough. pic.twitter.com/gyU1gDLnM6
— Tom (@tdawks) December 4, 2016
32.
This doesn't sound like the most amenable law firm. pic.twitter.com/1rOuic4TOA
— Daniel Maier (@danielmaier) February 23, 2017
33.
Welcome to Norwich pic.twitter.com/4PHNbpaeDL
— K (@KleinMarshall) February 6, 2017
34.
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you pic.twitter.com/qCoF30eEWK
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) February 7, 2017