1.
Me: *destroys spider web
Spider: wow
Me: *puts up fake spider web
Spider: WOW
psybermonkey / Via twitter.com
2.
My favorite Horror movie is the one where the Target cashier wants to talk to me about my grocery choices.
Staggfilms / Via twitter.com
3.
abbycohenwl / Via twitter.com
4.
Halloween is my favorite holiday to toilet paper the neighbor’s house and blame trick or treaters.
justsomegirl81 / Via twitter.com
5.
Some lady dressed as catwoman is walking around our halloween party just knocking drinks off tables
GrantTanaka / Via twitter.com
6.
I think I’ll complete my cat lady transformation by giving out cough drops on Halloween.
SSparklesDaily / Via twitter.com
7.
Mom_Overboard / Via twitter.com
8.
Can’t believe it’s 2018 and venturing into a forbidden library still causes an unknown force to extinguish your candelabra
MavenofHonor / Via twitter.com
9.
There’s a spider on my wall, but fu*k it, i’m not gettin up.
free halloween decoration.
livlivme_do / Via twitter.com
10.
My favorite Halloween movie is the first 3/4 of The Craft when they’re all still BFFs & one of them kills the guy who attacked her friend
smithsara79 / Via twitter.com
11.
Just gave my next door neighbor a giant bag of candy to dump in my sons trick or treat bucket on Halloween so I can go home after one house.
Cheeseboy22 / Via twitter.com
12.
if a ghost wore pants would he wear them
like this or like this
Jerrypleasure / Via twitter.com
13.
TheHyyyype / Via twitter.com
14.
POLTERGEIST: gettttttt… outtttt…
MY MOM & DAD: gettttttt… outttt…
McGrumpenstein / Via twitter.com
15.
Guide to Halloween Acronyms
LOL = Licking On Lollipops
BRB = Big Rich Butterfingers
OMG = One More Goober
IDK = I Destroy KitKats
SMH = So Much Halloween
professorkiosk / Via twitter.com
16.
Establish dominance by only having Halloween candy with peanuts in it.
envydatropic / Via twitter.com
17.
[After spending 4 weeks making a costume for Halloween]
This is so worth it for a Snickers mini.
ObscureGent / Via twitter.com
18.
Neighbor: Happy Halloween!
Me (sitting on the porch with a bowl of Kit Kats): It’s Halloween?
livlivme_do / Via twitter.com
19.
My toddler is going to be the Hulk for Halloween and I’m really proud of him for finally realizing he has anger issues.
HomeWithPeanut / Via twitter.com
20.
Ruined my day by realizing that the song Monster Mash is about a song called the Monster Mash and we’ve never actually heard that song.
ObscureGent / Via twitter.com
Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: Mom_Overboard / Twitter