1.
Me: Did you have a good day at school?
6-year-old: That’s not how school works.
XplodingUnicorn

2.
My 6yo son just told me it was a girls job to do dishes. Now he and daddy are in the kitchen cleaning everything.
BrionyClearmyst

3.
6-year-old: I hate how you pack my lunch
Me: Maybe you should pack your own lunch
6: *packs 28 Oreos*
Me: Maybe I should pack your lunch
XplodingUnicorn

4.
If anyone has a solid 3 hours on their hands, my 6 year old has a story about Pikachu he’ll tell to anyone who is willing to listen.
LurkAtHomeMom

5.
6yo: “Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
Dad?”
Me: “Yes?”
6yo: “I forgot.”
ReasonsMySonCry

6.
ME: Have you washed your hands?
6-year-old: Yes.
ME: Really? That seemed too fast.
6: Oh, I thought you meant ever.
BabySideburns

7.
6yo: I don’t want to be a nurse when i grow up anymore
Me: You’ve changed your mind. What do you want to be when you grow up?
6yo: I want to be nothing, like you
weezanella

8.
My six year old wanted a mint, so I asked, “What’s the magic word?”
Her response: “Now.”
StellaGMaddox

9.
Me: Where are the pretzels?
6-year-old: I ate them.
Me: I told you to divide them into four equal piles.
6: Each pile has zero.
XplodingUnicorn

10.
Me (a good, responsible parent): WHAT THE FUDGE!
My 6yo (proving me wrong): Did you mean to say fu*k?
DadandBuried

11.
Me: “Would you like an apple?”
Daughter: “Ew no way.”
Me: “…Would you like apple slices?”
Daughter: “Oooh yummy! Yes!”
Mastering the art of 6 year old snack logic one day at a time.
Faux_Ma

12.
6YO: Daughter: Dad, what is “lame”?
Me: When something is not cool or interesting.
Her: Your jokes are lame.
Me: *sigh*
petergasca

13.
My son recently came up with a whole joke on his own:
6yo: Where do livers go swimming?
Wife & I: Where?
6: The Liverpool!
SeekingEcopolis

14.
Only a six year old or Satan is this happy at 6 in the morning.

JimGaffigan

15.
My 6yo just stepped on a spider and thought she killed it, but it got up and scurried away. Her response? “Oh. My. God. It’s Spider Jesus.”
Manda_like_wine

16.
My 6yo just yelled that he is 24% mad at me so, yes, math does have real world applications.
MamaFizzles

17.
Six year old just asked for a throne for Christmas so I think we’re good for now on the whole self-esteem thing
JessicaValenti

18.
Me: Are you hungry?
6yo: If it’s dinner then I’m not hungry. But if it’s a biscuit, then I am hungry.
emmarobinsonuk

19.
6y.o, spotting tray of chicken wings: “Wow! That’s a LOT of dead chickens!”
-Why we can’t have dinner guests.
Six_Pack_Mom

20.
Me: “How excited are you to get a puppy dog?”
6yo: “THIS WILL CHANGE MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!”
ReasonsMySonCry

21.
My 6yo just found out that George Washington is no longer alive and he’s very upset.
abjornsen

22.
“Finally, you made something that’s good” – 6yo being dinner honest with mom at dinner
ltimar

23.
Just woke up my 6yo for school. “Mom! Why’d you wake me up?!? I was about to eat a taco!” I’m sorry bud. So, so sorry.
erica_millard

24.
I never thought this day would come, but it has: today my 6yo referred to me as the “annoyed antique woman.”
Manda_like_wine

25.
The day was saved when my six-year-old shouted from the bathroom, “Who wants to see how big my poop is?”
tvaziri

26.
The 6yo and I were having an impromptu discussion on bigotry (spurred on by how the Dursleys treat Harry Potter).
6yo: “That’s not right. I like you even though you’re different from me. You have wrinkly skin and I don’t…”
JMiles1

27.
4yo: What does getting older mean??
6yo: It means you’re getting closer to dying.
Angela_Harren

28.
6-year-old: The lights flickered.
Me: No, they didn’t.
6: There. They did it again.
Me: Stop blinking.
XplodingUnicorn

29.
My 6yo Son: Dad what did you do at work today?
Me: I built slides.
Son: SLIDES!?!?
Me: Not that kind.
byronschaller

30.
Breakfast time:
Me to 6yo: Why don’t you like eggs sweetie? They are so good for you!
6yo: I love eggs… in a cake.
GoodForKidscom