1.
Overheard during a particular long sermon, “If we give him the money now, Mommy, will he let us go?”.
JAPZSOULPROMO

2.
Overheard from down the hall: “I’m gonna pet you, please don’t bite me….OW!!”
JenniferCheek

3.
just overheard the gentleman in the next stall whisper “get out of me” and then start to cry. god i hate the olive garden.
TenMinJokes

4.
“Yeah and he’s flown a plane which is like the most boring thing in the world to do.”
LizzyMace

5.
Just overheard a little girl at work telling her mom that when she grows up, she wants to be a bumblebee.
tericwiek

6.
“I don’t know what they call it “The Rapture”, that’s a Dinosaur?”
Parasite159

7.
Overheard on the bus to boston – “you’re 23? Aren’t birthdays getting sad? I turned 22 and wondered what else i have to life for now.”
LawyerWAttitude

8.
“Have you ever seen HGTV Meth Edition?” Overheard in my office today, a google search leads me to believe this isn’t a thing.
theguru42

9.
Just overheard a shop assistant in Waitrose say to a co-worker, ‘So, are you a Greg or a Gregory?’
He said, ‘My name’s Steve’….
Jasonbuckner104

10.
Overheard during installation:
“If your name was Charles Manson would you change it?”
aurora304

11.
Overheard in a Target dressing room. Young son to father.
“Dad you gotta start working on these leg abs! If you don’t start working on them, you’re gonna look like me!”
fromwonderrland

12.
Overheard a mom to son conversation “you’re 9 years old, you can do what you want!” I hope to goodness she was only referring to the haircut.
henrywentz

13.
(Overheard son talking to daughter while playing Fortnite) “Come over here and let me rocket ride you.” WHAT KIND OF WEIRD A*S VIDEO GAMES ARE MY KIDS PLAYING?!
court_patton

14.
Overheard in theatre class: “I won’t wear panty hose because I’m not a panty ho…”
IHaveNoIdea1515

15.
1:I don’t know many languages, English and American. 2: Say something in American! 1: Howdy. 2: Whats that mean then? 1: Hello
UsePlainEnglish

16.
Overheard in grocery store aisle “Peggy, I just sharted. It was an accident. Just leave the cart, we gotta get home now”
UnscriptedLeo

17.
Overheard in a shop: “Yeah but like she’s an adult and that’s like, alcohol, so yeah go for that one”.
GraceNelder

18.
Overheard at a toronto club: “I just wanna be popular i don’t wanna be waiting in line”
McGloinTheDark

19.
Overheard in Costco: “Hey, I could stab you in the butt with this.”
v

20.
Overheard at work: “I wish I speaked Spanish.” *why don’t you worry about #English, first*
UsePlainEnglish

21.
If you take yourself too seriously you become a politician. And not a very good one.
ForSouvenirs

22.
“As a white man I can become very unfashionable very quickly” Overheard at Colombia Road flower market in Hackney
Philarious

Via BuzzFeed