21. Parenting tip” Explain to your kids that stealing is wrong, but if they do have to steal something, make sure it’s something daddy can use. @Cheeseboy22
22. Parenting tip: If your 2 year old calls you in from another room to tell you she’s “not poopie,” there’s a 100% chance she’s lying. @JessicaValenti
23. It’s ok to justify not meeting any of your goals, with, “At least I remembered to feed the kids.” @PaigeKellerman
24. Parenting Pro-tip: When bribing your child make sure you google the price of the bribe before agreeing to buy it. @the818
25. If your children ask a lot of questions, try asking them an open-ended question yourself to find out what they already know @SmartNSassyMom
26. Parenting Tip: Carry only solid colored extra pants for your kid’s potty accidents. Otherwise… @MothaKim
27.
Parenting tip: Tell your kids all the food you want to keep for yourself is spicy.
“Sorry, son, this Dilly Bar is spicy.” @Gennefer
28. Parenting tip: A spinning ceiling fan will not support the weight of a child on a swing while your wife is out having girls night out. @Cheeseboy22
29. Parenting lesson of the day. When pouring your guts out to the baby at 3:00 am, make sure the monitor is turned off. @AndPlayDad
30. Parenting tip: Fill a Piñata with mushrooms then sit back and watch as your children learn a cruel, but valuable lesson about real life. @KalvinMacleod
31. Parenting tip: When your kids sleep on the trampoline on warm summer nights, be sure that the sprinklers are set to go on. @Cheeseboy22
32. Parenting pro tip: no need to baby proof the house for your crawling daughter. Just put her in a dress and render her immobile. @willgoldstein
33. Parenting tip: Put your kids to bed at 5:30 PM and the time they actually go to bed will be 9:00 PM. @Cheeseboy22
34. Parenting tip: end the ABC song “Thanks for singing this w/ me” not “Next time won’t you sing w/ me.” Then you don’t have to sing it again. @KenJennings
35. Parenting tip: Unfolded laundry straight out of the dryer is an excellent place for napping. @bcmgsupermommy
36. Parenting tip: maybe don’t leave Hungry Hungry Hippos on the floor of a dark room. @TheRealDratch
37. Parenting tip: If you can’t get your kid’s attention, just start any video on Youtube and they will be at your side in seconds. @Cheeseboy22
38. Parenting tip: when ur kids start crying, start bawling bigger & badder. Soon, they will stop crying & turn their concerns to your welfare. @Contwixt
39. Parenting tip: Tell your toddler that you wrote every book you ever read to them. They are not smart. They will believe you. @Cheeseboy22
40. Parenting Tip: Don’t ask your toddler if she would share one bite of her ice cream in order to save your life. @karri_leigh