Modern Family / ABC

#1
50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.
sarcasticmommy4 / Via twitter.com

#2
Please choose one of the following school picture packages:
A. Meh
B. LOL
C. Wtf happened to her hair?
D. My child is a serial killer holy sh*t how did I not see the signs
LurkAtHomeMom / Via twitter.com

#3
I don’t know started the saying “life is short” but it definitely wasn’t a parent waiting for a child to “do it myself”
momtransparent1 / Via twitter.com

#4
Oh you’re into extreme sports? I just took two kids under the age of 5 grocery shopping. So, same.
HomeWithPeanut / Via twitter.com

#5
My revenge plan is mainly encouraging my daughter to make lots and lots of home made crafts so that she can bring them to her schoolteacher to display in her classroom.
PetrickSara / Via twitter.com

#6
Me: *spends time picking out stuffed animals I think my daughter will love and get attached to*
My daughter: *sleeps with and carries around a lemon*
Jamberee13 / Via twitter.com

#7
*Loud crash from another room*
Toddler: NOTHING!!
mom_ontherocks / Via twitter.com

#8
Me: What’s the first rule of cooking?
4: Don’t put your hands in your bu*t.
Me:
4:
Me: Correct.
saltymamas / Via twitter.com

#9
[walking into elementary school]

Me: Hi I’m dropping my daughter off for Kindness Club.
Teacher: Well, Kindness Club doesn’t start for another 15 minutes so-
Me: THIS IS BULLSH*T
Daughter: THIS IS BULLSH*T
RodLacroix / Via twitter.com

#10
I was 27 when my son was born 4 years ago.
I’m 42 now
FU_TangClan / Via twitter.com

#11
Thanks to daylight savings, my kids get an extra hour of arguing in.
sarcasticmommy4 / Via twitter.com

#12
Parenting is a lot like buying 4 bananas and watching them get gobbled up in one day.
Then buying 8 bananas the following week and watching them rot on your counter because ‘No one likes bananas mommy.’
momtribevibe / Via twitter.com

#13
no one:
my 4yo: daddy, does the moon have a job or does it just sit there?
TheCatWhisprer / Via twitter.com

#14
5-year-old: I’m mad.
Me: Why?
5: I DON’T NEED A REASON.
She’s living her best life.
XplodingUnicorn / Via twitter.com

#15
[My mother-in-law comes up behind my 10yo and starts brushing her hair]
10yo: OUCH!!!
*Looks over her shoulder*
10yo: Oh sorry, I thought you were my mom.
copymama / Via twitter.com

#16
Ahh, just standing here sipping my coffee, listening to the sweet sounds of my oldest two children fighting first thing in the morning while the baby tries to eat the cat food.
saltymermaident / Via twitter.com

#17
If I could change one thing about my kids, I think I’d synchronise their taste buds
threetimedaddy / Via twitter.com

#18
I’m convinced that my 6yo thinks if she stops talking for more than 30 seconds a bomb will go off like in Speed, it’s the only explanation.
copymama / Via twitter.com

#19
4-year-old: I can’t find my shoes.
Me: Where did you look?
4: Nowhere.
We’re off to a good start.
XplodingUnicorn / Via twitter.com

#20
Me: ok so what’s the 411 on this game
10yo: the what
Me: you know 41…oh right. you don’t know. It means information becuz we used to have to dial 411 on the phone to get someones phone # or address.
10yo: so u mean what’s the google then?
Me: yes. exactly.
dadmann_walking / Via twitter.com

#21
What’s it like when your kids listen to you the first time you say something?
No. I’m asking. What’s it like. Someone please tell me.
VisionBored1 / Via twitter.com

#22
What’s it called when you do everything possible to make people happy but nobody’s happy? Ah yes, parenthood.
Lhlodder / Via twitter.com

Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: Lhlodder / twitter.com, Modern Family / ABC