1.
I was going to wear a scary costume to take the kids trick or treating, then realized going as a mom with 6 kids is terrifying enough.
Six_Pack_Mom

2.
8yo: I want to paint my pumpkin this year!
Me: Cool, what color?
8yo:Orange!
Me:
8yo:
Me:*pours drink* let’s do it
FatherWithTwins

3.
Went to my kids Halloween function at school. Did not dress up. Wore jeans, t-shirt & my glasses. A mom asked me if I was dressed as nerd.
ReaganGomez

4.
I make so many sacrifices for the health of my children.
*eats the candy out of my kid’s Halloween themed Lunchable*
PetrickSara

5.
My kid wants $20 to go through a corn maze with his friends, which is $20 more than I normally pay to walk through vegetables.
Cheeseboy22

6.
It took 9 months of pregnancy and a few years of rearing,but my Halloween candy capturing creation is finally ready.
WalkingOutside

7.
Me: What do you say when you hold up your bag?
3-year-old: Treat or treat.
Me: TRICK or treat.
3-year-old: I want to treats.
XplodingUnicorn

8.
Is this it?
-kids on a hayride
simoncholland

9.
I’ve informed my kids that the Dad Tax on Halloween candy will be 65 percent this year.They should be proud to do their civic duty.
MattWalshBlog

10.
“Mommy, I thought you said this was a corn maze?” my kid hollered, running after me as I drove away from some field.
mommy_cusses

11.
Parents 364 days a year: Don’t take candy from strangers.
Parents on Halloween: Take candy from strangers. In the dark. And share with me.
WalkingOutside

12.
Sure, my kid is all happy his Halloween costume came in the mail but now what am I going to hold over his head to not behave like an asshole
OBfromNJ

13.
9: Daddy, tell me a scary story.
*takes off my shirt and holds up a picture from when I was 20 beside me for comparison* 9: Dear God…
drinksmcgee

14.
Shout out to all the parents whose kids have changed their minds today about their Halloween costumes.
sarcasticmommy4