20 Hilarious Tweets By Single People That Will Make You Laugh Then Cry

1.
Valentine’s Day plan:
1. Breakfast in bed
2. Chocolates
3. Watch movie
4. Dinner for two
5. Regret eating two dinners.
6. Cry alone.
pandamusk

2.
Dr: What are you using for birth control?
Me: Just who I am as a person
DottyThorpe

3.
Can’t wait for Valentines Day. I’m gonna run into as many restaurants I can shouting “Knew I’d find you here! You bastard” then run out.

4.
Someone asked me if I’m ever scared that I’ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my dog was RIGHT THERE.
pinupteacher

5.
Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me.
RobinMcCauley

6.
him: you single? why?
me: you’re*
msdanifernandez

7.
I’m tireda being the only 1 who cleans, pays all the bills, cooks every day and does dishes in this house. I am the backbone of this family.
I live alone, but still
JasMoneyRecords

8.

and I’m still single
AngelaBrisk

9.
9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both time.
p_smithson

10.
“You’re beautiful and I love you,” I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied “I just want to be friends.”
RidiculousSheri

11.
So I’m @ the bank waiting in line & the guy in front of me is spitting game to the teller, she’s laughing & he’s attractive so I can tell she’s digging it, he asks her if he can take her out and she says “with what? The whole $11.96 you got in your account?” SON, my chest
ticklemelili

12.
Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I’ve got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
rhysjamesy

13.
Yup that just about sums it up

singleprob

14.
me realizing i have a crush on someone

ethiopienne

15.
Sometimes I think ‘maybe I should go out and meet people’ and then I remember I don’t really like people or leaving my house.
Tamashay

16.
My dogs are all “Girl, you are awesome. Why are you single?” And I’m all “Probably because I have conversations with my dogs, dudes.”
notittryagain

17.
My Valentines day reservation is Done

Maaahyyy