1.
boy: i wished girls liked sports
girl: i like sports
boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s
@maliagif
2.
Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second
@twelveoclocke
3.
Women’s deodorant scents: rose, cotton, spring, meadow
Men’s: WINTER ICE, SHARKNADO, GLACIER PUNCH, ANTIFREEZE, GUN
@sophie_gadd
4.
When men have the flu vs when women are on their deathbeds
@jameelajoie
5.
Periods are like a friend who comes bearing good news but then stays for a week, eats all your food, and borrows and ruins your clothes
@MaraWilson
6.
We asked 500 men what they look for in a woman and then set them adrift on a raft screaming, because just kidding who cares
@audipenny
7.
You can complain all you want about women taking selfies; we aren’t the ones naming our children our own exact fucking names.
@1followernodad
8.
when it’s been 20 years and you’re still fed up of listening to men
@karenmoodys
9.
Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really shitty holiday.
@JennyPentland
10.
are you even a girl if you don’t tell people you’re wearing jeans and a nice top ????
@ebs_rose
11.
Don’t hate the player, hate the social construct of performative masculinity, which encourages weak men to conform to a sexist narrative th
@msgwenl
12.
every time I find something in forever 21
@sophxthompson
13.
A cat-caller just said he wants to get “all up in my business” which is great because my taxes are complicated and I could use the help.
@AlisonLeiby
14.
20 Things That Women Should Stop Wearing After The Age of 30
1-20: The weight of other people’s expectations & judgments
@behindyourback
15.
I bet a lot of guys who don’t think that rape is a big deal were super upset when that U2 album was put on their phone without consent.
@mlefaye
16.
me when boys compliment me vs me when girls compliment me
@raichew
17.
The moral of Beauty and the Beast is that looks don’t matter, as long as you’re a man.
@OhNoSheTwitnt
18.
A man once got mad bc my ma asked me for a tampon in Punjabi + demanded we speak English so my ma asked him if he had a tampon + he ran away
@AGlasgowGirl
19.
If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.
@MarisaLange
20.
When you shave for the first time in months.
@Manda_like_wine
21.
[first date]
I just love that you are a normal, cool girl.
*subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair*
-Yeah, totally.
@MollySneed
22.
Omg. I just realized. Of COURSE God is a woman. That’s why the Bible is an entire book filled with men explaining what she said.
@JenKirkman
23.
If Thor is a woman, what’s next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end?
@OhNoSheTwitnt
24.
him: i only like natural girls
me:
@imteddybless
25.
Me: I know panty hose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone
Bank Teller: So is this not a robbery?
Me: No, It is
@abbycohenwl
26.
The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you’re sick when you’re not wearing makeup is a circle.
@vornietom
27.
attention men: pls stop telling us you want to go down on us for “hours”. thats way too long. we have stuff to do. i’ve got a lasagne cookin
@imteddybless
28.
hello we are experts making decisions about vaginas and black people
@MyPolishFace
29.
guys: women are a mystery.
women: Here is what we-
guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT?
women: well for start-
guys: Guess we’ll never know!
@1followernodad
30.
Man: I’ll never date a feminist
Feminists: True
@JessicaValenti
31.
MY EX GOT A NEW PHONE AND ASKED ME TO RE-SEND PICS. LORD GIVE ME THE CONFIDENCE OF A MAN.
@DanaSchwartzzz
32.
when u sit down and look at your stomach
@pxramore
33.
I don’t need femims because we have lost too many men to the friendzone. The zone where they get to be friends with women. It’s a nightmare
@NoToFeminism
34.
Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realise everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow
@BlacHershey
35.
Mona Lisa: (to self) Did this guy just tell me to fucking SMILE??
@GloriaFallon123
36.
I can’t think of anything that’s better summed up what it’s like to be a woman
@alivingiano
37.
ITEMS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN:
-Little Black Dress
-Cute flats
-Strappy s- ok now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn.
@bananafitz
38.
If you’re a male pundit critiquing a woman’s weight you should have to do it shirtless in front of an audience of women three rosés deep
@morninggloria
39.
a girl i know in her 20s with a 40 yr old boyfriend captioned a pic of him cooking with “my man can cook” UM HE IS 40 THAT IS NOT IMPRESSIVE
@geekylonglegs
40.
Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.
@living_marble
41.
Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn’t have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful.
@meganamram
42.
baby: d-dd-d
parents: dada?!?!
baby: DESTROY THE FUCKIN PATRIARCHY *guitar solo*
@queenbronwyn
43.
Like a gender reveal but instead of eating pink or blue cake you smash a piggy bank to reveal $1 if it’s a boy or 78 cents if it’s a girl
@MegMonk