1.
You’re officially an adult when you become more than half of all the things you made fun of in your youth.
@TheBoydP

2.
My workout schedule:
Age 20: Ran every day.
Age 25: Exercised once a week.
Age 31: Pulled a muscle walking to the fridge.
@XplodingUnicorn

3.
6yo: What’s it like being a grown up?
ME: You know that feeling you get when you unwrap a present and it’s not what you wanted?
@Cpin42

4.
lately ive been losing my train of thought, picking it back up again, and finding that a week had gone by in the meantime
@jonnysun

5.
[at a party]
Me: *over the music* DO YOU HAVE A RECYCLING BIN?
@ZappullaJ

6.
I’m basically just a 41 year old teenager.
@SnizzleFrizzle

7.
im gonna have a productive weekend
*watches 3 seasons of a show*
*organizes shirts by softness*
*naps 5 times*
ugh i never have enough time
@bobvulfov

8.
Being an adult means knowing the right thing to do and knowing a great excuse not to do it.
@XplodingUnicorn

9.
One day you’re not old and the next day you have a favorite grocery store.
@Contwixt

10.
Adulthood is mostly whispering
“For Fucks sake”
Every time the phone rings
@themrsik

11.
KID: *falls out of tree* I’m fine
ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week
@batkaren

12.
“Pardon me as I slip into something more comfortable.”
[I just get in bed and go to sleep]
@Elizasoul80

13.
Her: i’m in the mood
Me: me too
Her: wanna do it
Me: oh yeah baby
[we drive to Home Depot to look at paint]
@AJslackie2

14.
My 20s: *drinks all the drinks, does all the drugs, has all the sex.
My 30s: *sits on the couch until it’s no longer too early to go to bed
@thatdutchperson

15.
Most victories as an adult involve matching socks, hiding empty candy wrappers and beating random strangers to a parking space.
@Donna_McCoy

16.
I’m doing life just like everyone else, 1 screw up after another and a trash can full of empty wine bottles
@OkieGirl405

17.
I used to smell like Teen Spirit.
Now I smell like abandoned hopes and dreams.
@PinkCamoTO

18.
sure all my friends are getting married and starting families but at least i’m slowly dying inside
@ch000ch

19.
Welcome to your 30s, everything hurts for no reason and you have a hangover from the glass of wine you drank a week ago
@Strocellinni

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