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1.
My “snooze” button should just be called the “nope, no yoga today” button.
@NYC_Blonde
2.
Moose: Sorry, I need to quit this yoga class.
Yoga Instructor: NahMooseStay!
@QwertyJones3
3.
Using the toilet on the airplane means I’m certified to teach yoga now.
@marcusparkersol
4.
I only do yoga so I can hold my arms up long enough to get my hair in a ponytail.
@girlontapas
5.
My favourite yoga position is sleeping.
@Trendulkar
6.
“Say ur a bad girl”
I’m a bad girl
“oooh yeah, and tell me what bad girls do…”
ooh i’m gonna sign up for 3 months of yoga and only go twice
@pharmasean
7.
I didn’t realise how good I was at yoga but I do number 13 all the time
@rebecaross
8.
Got up at 6:30am today. Did some yoga. Had a protein shake. Ran six miles. Started lying about everything.
@TheCattyLady
9.
I didn’t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
@DippyBlonder
10.
I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip cookie that I dropped under the table.
@thenikhilkapur
11.
Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose
Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger
YI:
Me:*chewing
I’m a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite
@Nikkeya08
12.
I do yoga so I can dress myself when I’m single.
@Souptini
13.
I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.
@girlontapas
14.
Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights.
@sammyrhodes
15.
Yoga? No thank you. I’ll download an app to my phone so I don’t have to stretch for the remote.
@withanewname
16.
I’m doing Bikram yoga today.
By that I mean I’m in the back seat of a hot car trying to contort myself enough to reach the ignition.
@jaelco26
17.
*walks past yoga studio*
*looks in window*
*eyes widen*
Awesome. It’s like kindergarten.
*walks into class*
*unrolls mat*
*takes a nap*
@jctwritesstuff
18.
*shitting pants, crying, missing my shoe*
yoga instructor: you need to leave
me: oh is this not child’s pose?
@maisonwithapen
19.
[Dog yoga class]
Teacher: Alright, let’s go into downward human pose
[Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]
@imdaintyaf
20.
Yoga may be the key to your flexibility. Alcohol is the key to mine.
@V_Angry_Indian
21.
Apparently in yoga when the instructor says, ‘next we go into our downward dog,’ it is frowned upon to make the ‘bowchickabowow’ sound.
@elynnbarlow
22.
Fitness level: Just used a yoga DVD as a coaster for my beer.
Namaste.
@LynneMcCarthy