#1

How I spoil myself pic.twitter.com/PW8CNHSQVX

— jess (@Mtz_jess144) October 19, 2020

#2

At a drive-thru, waiting on my order, looking at phone. Guy at window: “you kinda look like Tony Hawk”
me (turning towards him, assuming he is in on the joke): “haha, cool”
Him (looking disappointed): “well, from the side you do. Here’s your food.”

— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) October 24, 2020

#3

Me: I'm scared of tommorow's test

Also me: pic.twitter.com/t4CnRwrwNr

— stella (@melodyofsunset_) October 18, 2020

#4

to remind you https://t.co/M6YwRDZ1PB

— Alanis Morissette (@Alanis) October 22, 2020

#5

My son just asked me how I know his name… I’m not in the mood tonight

— swamp monster (@_BIGSYD) October 20, 2020

#6

A “beyond burger” implies the existence of a “bed burger ” and a “bath burger”

— Eddie Boooooooogrou (@didgeridougrou) October 18, 2020

#7

me after i spell wensday right pic.twitter.com/Rl7sQLZVAc

— geni (@geniwithluv) October 18, 2020

#8

Every meeting when you suffer from imposter syndrome pic.twitter.com/J3XdTUUX5k

— Chris (@chrispaget1) October 18, 2020

#9

The older we get, the more we understand this guy. pic.twitter.com/6K8CyfpmKO

— Macbaaby (@MacBaaby) October 19, 2020

#10

George Lopez just dropped the greatest TikTok of all-time pic.twitter.com/SA9WC0adyB

— B. W. Carlin (@BaileyCarlin) October 24, 2020

#11

Me : I wish people would invite me out more

Me in a social setting : https://t.co/Ngbn6ihcZ4

— ZERUBBABEL (@litskinayo) October 23, 2020

#12

Where is the damn vaccine?! https://t.co/N490R5uoc5

— DEY CAWL ME BIG KATHY (@OkSoMik) October 19, 2020

#13

Don’t talk to me when i wake up, i need an hour to defrost

— Paki blinder (@s41ah) October 19, 2020

#14

I am actually so disturbed by the amount of under 30s I know who are voting for Trump SOLELY based off Biden’s tax plan. Like?????? Absolutely no hate but you work the front desk at a gym.. I don’t think you make the $400k cut my love

— ally (@CaliAlly_) October 22, 2020

#15

When I send "", this is what I mean https://t.co/xg0NhCgHzQ

— AM (@Abdulmir19) October 16, 2020

#16

emma roberts after booking a role where she has to be blonde and mean pic.twitter.com/6RVmkmNPdr

— Alopecia Chlmaydia (@usedwifi) October 24, 2020

#17

george washington at his dollar bill photoshoot pic.twitter.com/PdA6TR49VN

— mitchell (@mioog) October 22, 2020

Preview photo credit: Abdulmir19, BomboTimmy / twitter.com