#1

Whoever invented burpees was miserable

— Cocoa. (@mykanike) August 6, 2020

#2

the guy who invented constellations was like "see those 4 stars? that's a bear" and everyone else was just too busy trying to not die from the plague to fight him on it

— hype (@TheHyyyype) July 7, 2019

#3

wind: *exists*

guy who invented windbreakers: “this sh*t sucks. I have got to find some way to break this.”

— Chase (@chaselyons) October 17, 2019

#4

"What if I tried to put a ball somewhere and you tried to stop me"

-guy who invented sports

— steve suckington (@SteveSuckington) December 1, 2015

#5

The person who invented ice cream sandwiches was probably very sad at one time, but then never ever sad ever again.

— mark (@markedly) June 3, 2019

#6

[guy about to invent monopoly]

*looking at friends* i have too many of these

— corri (@okiecorri) October 18, 2019

#7

THE GUY WHO INVENTED FIREWORKS: i’m gonna kill god.

— will (@fuckmarrywill) July 4, 2019

#8

whoever invented crab rangoon

ya moms a
really nice lady and she raised a truly world changing citizen and I owe her my life.

— abrianah (@abrianahnoellee) June 7, 2018

#9

Guy about to invent work: what if we paid people to be miserable

— Julicorn (@ChicksRule) November 11, 2019

#10

GUY WHO INVENTED STEW:

I wish this plate of meat & vegetables was damp.

— Gwen (@msgwenl) January 14, 2019

#11

Guy who invented the piano: 200 hundred years from now it may need tuning but it will be sturdy. So sturdy.

His friend, who invented piano benches: the legs are designed for maximum wobble

— jeb (@LlamaInaTux) February 15, 2019

#12

[being haunted by the spirit of the man who invented the gif]

*extremely spooky voice* oooo I’m a jhost! Yes, it’s pronounced “jhost”

— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) January 23, 2018

#13

whoever invented the e chord on the ukelele can choke

— gemma (@bloodpilots) November 2, 2018

#14

whoever invented smoothies is literally a god to me like thanks bit*h for enabling me to drink like 20 bananas this is what i live for

— common sad girl (@sadgirlkms) February 6, 2018

#15

guy who invented the hand-dryer: it’s extremely loud but GET THIS it also doesn’t work

— Peter Marshall (@PeterJMarshall) December 11, 2019

#16

[1907. the first convenience store opens]

GUY WHO INVENTED INCONVENIENCE STORES: damn

— Mowgli (@Holy_Mowgli) September 3, 2018

#17

To the person who invented 0.
Thanks for Nothing

— FAROUQ (@farouq_yahaya) August 29, 2019

Preview photo credit: farouq_yahaya / twitter.com