1.
*at my funeral*
— maura quint (@behindyourback) July 3, 2017
Friend crying over my casket: look they're burying her in her favorite dress
Me, still dead: it haaasss pockets
2.
The patriarchy's fatal mistake was installing windows over the kitchen sink so we could see what was outside.
— A Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) January 13, 2015
3.
Girls can't be football coaches cuz they'd rearrange all the x's and o's in the playbook to be xoxoxoxo
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) July 24, 2015
4.
Another day, another 77 cents
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) November 7, 2014
5.
boy: i wished girls liked sports
— jordan rose (@maliagif) May 17, 2015
girl: i like sports
boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s
6.
a boy during sex: *does nothing at all* pic.twitter.com/qEVzIYHfUQ
—isabel ¨̮ (@lSABABE) March 28, 2017
7.
When men have the flu vs when women are on their deathbeds pic.twitter.com/YrDbNY0XSt
— melyssa ford. (@jameelajoie) September 18, 2016
8.
i'll rest my bitch face when I'm dead.
— Kim Monte (@KimmyMonte) August 23, 2017
9.
[1789, woman opens beautifully wrapped hand delivered message] Oh my…yet another gentleman caller has sent me his penis portrait…
— beth has had it (@bourgeoisalien) February 22, 2016
10.
guys: women are a mystery.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) December 4, 2015
women: Here is what we-
guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT?
women: well for start-
guys: Guess we'll never know!
11.
It's Mary Shelley's birthday? To celebrate, invent a new genre of fiction at a house party to avoid the attentions of a dude who's trash.
— femme. sre. (@sweetpavement) August 30, 2017
12.
Hunger Games Synopsis
— regal trash bitch (@meatgrindr) September 12, 2017
Katniss: I'm in over my head, the govt wants me dead, I'm scared
Both Male Leads: Ok but do you LIKE like me
13.
More ladies should leave internet comments on men's accomplishments like "he sucks as an astronaut but i'd sit on his face"
— dr. dalia ☥ (@DALIAMALEK) May 30, 2015
14.
Misogynists: my dick does whatever it wants
— Holly Green (@winnersusedrugs) August 20, 2017
Male feminists: it just makes me so sad that my dick does whatever it wants
15.
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, b/c I didn't immediately get out of his way as he was walking towards me & now he's perplexed.
— Frankie (@phranqueigh) August 25, 2016
16.
If female writers wrote characters of the opposite sex like male writers do pic.twitter.com/YE4o3lXq5A
— Manataerys Stormborn (@SaveTheMayotee) September 8, 2017
17.
@kashanacauley
18.
WOMAN: I wish to no longer be mansplained things
— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) June 10, 2016
GENIE: Okay {POOF} *turns her into a guy*
MAN: What I actually meant was…
GENIE: oh jeez
19.
@SleepyAlex_
20.
Men statistically have larger brains than women, which is why men are usually smarter and elephants rule us all from their laser-hovercraft
— mcc (@mcclure111) December 5, 2013
21.
Masculinity is so unbelievably fragile pic.twitter.com/ii7Pyfg8Sv
— Classiest Cunt (@KivaBay) August 27, 2017
22.
The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you're sick when you're not wearing makeup is a circle.
— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) November 20, 2014
23.
When a man tells me he's looking for a 'real woman' I scurry away because I'm actually three owls in a raincoat AND HE MUSTN'T FIND OUT.
— Aimee (@Mimiification) July 1, 2017
24.
As a woman, I just hope that one day I have as many rights as a gun does.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) December 17, 2015
25.
If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.
— SpookySandwich (@MarisaLange) November 19, 2014
26.
every time I find something in forever 21 pic.twitter.com/2keJemWbFm
— sophie (@sophxthompson) January 14, 2017