1.
me: (texting boss) we still on for work today?
— slick (@dlicj) April 14, 2017
boss: yes. you dont have to text me this every morning. we're "on" for work every day mon-fri
2.
Alarm goes off
— Kermit (@ltsKermit) January 20, 2017
Me: just sleep 20 more mins
Me: how about 30 more mins
Me: just skip work
Me: just quit your job pic.twitter.com/TOPRHOoa2d
3.
me: i don't have time for workplace drama, i'm here for a paycheck
— /: (@blazedd0nut) May 26, 2017
also me, when my coworker says she's annoyed w someone we work with: pic.twitter.com/ciQ6oikRtJ
4.
My coworker is pregnant and they passed a card around and I didn't know what to write so I just put HAVE A GOOD BABY TANYA
— Shawn (@online_shawn) July 27, 2013
5.
Me when I don't get scheduled a lot vs Me when I do get scheduled a lot pic.twitter.com/o1BYrvzhB8
— selena (@selenamortiz) December 6, 2016
6.
Ma’am, I’m doing everything I can pic.twitter.com/2ZoL6sUMgD
— no one (@lusxt) November 17, 2014
7.
Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner.
— Ceej (@ceejoyner) January 12, 2015
8.
BOSS: We need to improve morale
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) May 16, 2016
ME: Okay
BOSS: How about an office party?
ME: [crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies"] I guess
9.
Interviewer: Are you willing to work nights and weekends including holidays
— Juán(@_ImFreshPrince_) January 3, 2017
You: Sure…… pic.twitter.com/VV9pdX1Vpa
10.
Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him "baby hands" until he quits
— vineyille (@vineyille) July 16, 2013
11.
Boss: go to hell
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) July 21, 2016
Me: so stay? or leave? I'm confused
12.
co-workers: HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?!?!
— Bully Smalls. (@In_A_YamChele) May 22, 2017
me: pic.twitter.com/OPpddbzxum
13.
Me agreeing to an extra shift at work vs me the morning of that shift pic.twitter.com/2jXeE8ptnT
— mac (@kenziecoffman) May 12, 2017
14.
When a customer wants to speak to the manager and the manager just tells them the exact same thing you didpic.twitter.com/ZdPiji6VGK
— FREDDY (@FreddyAmazin) September 4, 2016
15.
That awkward moment when your crewmate gets into the wrong truck outside A&Epic.twitter.com/pLgGPmZML9
— Tom Pullen (@SECAmb_Tom) January 18, 2017
16.
St. Peter: Why should I let you into heaven?
— It's Abby. Yep. (@abbycohenwl) June 19, 2015
Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her
StP: Get in here
17.
Adorable idea. Colleagues have been writing names on their food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie
— Mrs Joshua Homme (@FussySaffa) March 24, 2010
18.
*walks into university & grabs intercom*
— Carly Danger (@carlyken) December 9, 2014
"IT'S ALL LIES. THAT ENGLISH DEGREE IS USELESS"
*fighting noises*
"YOU'RE GOING TO WORK FOR TARGET"
19.
Calling into work sick and adding that last cough at the end of the phone call pic.twitter.com/lZmumnQuJF
— Silky Johnston (@jaytown32) January 10, 2017
20.
@Phil_Lewis_ / @Ms_AfricanQueen
21.
I'm trying to convince my coworker to go to lunch so I can eat the skittle under his desk pic.twitter.com/z8V3kVzuO2
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) February 3, 2016
22.
@KayePeezy
23.
lol my boss just called me into his office and told me I've been spending too much time on twitter. Hold on he's saying something else now
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) June 13, 2017
24.
@finch_izzy