#1 This is…very real.
We only dated for 11 Instagrams.
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#2 Justice for TSA dogs.
That TSA dog has no idea it’s not getting paid.
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#3 Can’t we have both?
Men in LA are more likely to have a crystal on their nightstand than a condom.
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#4 Let’s get coffee around the holidays?
Let’s hang soon but not too soon.
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#5 Us as yoga teachers honestly.
Yoga Teacher: “If you have to fu*king tell you to breathe one more time, I’m going to fu*king lose it.”
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#6 We can dream.
If you had my life together, I’d take you out.
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#7 Beautiful food deserves to be documented, OK?
How was your date?
Meh. I don’t think we’re compatible. Right before I was about to take my phone out to take a pic of my dessert he said “I’m so glad you’re not one of those girls who has to take pictures of her dinner.”
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#8 Seems like a chill therapist.
I saw my therapist commented on G-Eazy’s post “Yaaaaasss, get it!!!” with like 10 emojis… should I still take her advice?
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#9 It can be both.
Cashier: “I think I know you from somewhere.”
Customer: “I have a big following on Instagram.”
Cashier: “Don’t you work at the car wash on 3rd?”
Customer: “Yes. It could also be from there.”
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#10 Just…what?
Look at his shirt. It says SMFD… Su*k My Fu*king Di*k.
No dummy, it stands for Santa Monica Fire Department.
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#11 Wouldn’t surprise us, tbh.
Hey. Christian.
shakes hand
Agnostic… Are we doin’ that now?
Yea, no. Christian’s my name
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#12 Going to LAX takes an entire day.
Your flight is at 9:15 so you should get to the airport at 7:15, which means we need to leave the Pho place by 6:15, which means we should just leave our apartment now.
It’s 2:45.
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#13 Honesty is always the best policy.
Drunk Girl talking to married friends: “I’m just upset because I feel like you think I’m pathetic because I’m not married yet…”

“Honestly, Natasha, I’m not trying to be a bit*h… but we literally never think about you.”
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#14 It’s really just making the best of the situation.
Rush hour has made me such a good daughter. I call my parents at the same time every single day… I love them but I’m really just trying to kill time.
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#15 Do you have any idea how hard it is to acquire a parking permit? YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE DMV.
How serious are you guys?
He got me a residential parking permit for his neighborhood. I feel like that’s equivalent of a diamond in LA.
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#16 I mean shopping at Target on a Sunday afternoon *is* cardio, tbh.

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#17 The poppies are out here making it hard to breathe.
“What are you vaping?”
“It’s my asthma inhaler.”
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#18 Sorry, Iowa.
“People in LA are terrible.”
“The natives are actually pretty normal, it’s the ones that move here from Iowa wanting to be Kardashians that are fu*ked.”
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#19 I wouldn’t even pick my mom up during rush hour.
“How did you know he wanted to be exclusive with you?”
“He offered to pick me up at LAX during rush hour.”
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#20 This is unfortunately 100% factually true.
He’s 31, but like North Carolina-31, like, 2 kids and a mortgage. 31-year-old dudes in Los Angeles are just learning how to cook a fu*king chicken.
overheardla / Via instagram.com

#21 There are so many milks.
Lady: “Hi, do you have soy milk?”
Barista: “We have almond, coconut and oat.”
Lady: “Why no soy?”
Random Customer: “It’s not 2003.”
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#22 Imagine thinking you could get anywhere on the 101 in five minutes.
Guy on his phone, walking: “Yeah I’m on the 101 now. I’ll be there in like 5 minutes.”
overheardla / Via instagram.com

#23 Who drives to a club?
Outside of a club:
Girl yelling: “I hope uber surges on you!”
Girl 2: “I drove here, bit*h.”
overheardla / Via instagram.com

#24 There are fewer than five people that I would drive to Pasadena for.
How far you’re willing to drive is how much you care. There are people I’d drive to Pasadena to see and others I won’t go more than 10 blocks for.
overheardla / Via instagram.com

#25 Dating is so fun.
She just liked 8 of my Instagram pics.
That’s like the new first base.
overheardla / Via instagram.com

#26 No one owns a truck, OK???
You haven’t lived in LA until you’ve helped a hot girl move and never see her again.
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#27 1% is the new 10%.

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