1.
Guy staring at ambulance in front of Whole Food:
“Somebody must have accidentally ate gluten”
overheardla

2.
“He’s 31, but like North Carolina-31, like, 2 kids and a mortgage. 31-year-old dudes in Los Angeles are just learning how to cook a fucking chicken.”
overheardla

3.
Customer: “You close at 6:30, right?”
Barista: “Yes, but we close emotionally at 6.”
overheardla

4.
Bouncer: “Sorry. I need to see an ID.”
Girl: ” I told you… I’m 30. Why would anyone lie about that?”
overheardla

5.
“I think I want her back, dude.”
“Did she get a haircut when you broke up?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re out of luck. She doesn’t want you back.”
overheardla

6.
“What’s wrong, why are you so quiet?”
“Nothing, I’m fine. I’m just saving my personality for when everyone else gets here.”
overheardla

7.
“And then he texted me as soon as he got Wi-Fi in Mexico.”
“That’s all I want… To be someone’s first thought once they get Wi-Fi”
overheardla

8.
“I want to go on a trip with you at some point.”
“Like acid or travel?”
overheardla

9.
“Excuse me, can I read your palms? you just have a beautiful energy and I could feel it from across the parking lot”
“That’s my anxiety disorder.”
overheardla

10.
“Every psycho I’ve ever dated was a Leo. ” “Every psycho I’ve ever dated believed in Astrology.”
overheardla

11.
Babysitter:”What city do you live in?”
7-Year-Old:”Santa Monica!”
Babysitter:”Good job! Do you know which state you live in?”
7-Year-Old:”Confusion”
overheardla

12.
Cashier: “How are you today?”
Customer:”OK.”
Cashier:”Life isn’t supposed to be lived ‘just ok’.”
Customer:”Look, I just came here for some coconut water. Not a fucking life coach.”
overheardla

13.
“My mom won’t let me go to your house anymore because your parents watch Fox News.”
(Little Boy to Firend)
overheardla

14.
“Honestly, why are the older generations so judgmental, they were Millennials once too.”
“No… no that’s not how that word works.”
overheardla

15.
Customer: “My name is Bri.” Cashier: “Brie, like the cheese? Nice to meet you. I’m Mason, like the jar.”
overheardla

16.
“I’m dating a guy that’s 6’7″.”
“Is he hot?” “he’s 6’7″ it doesn’t matter. I don’t even think I’ve seen his face yet.”
overheardla

17.
Woman: “I need to buy new pants because the other ones are too big now.”
9-Year-Old: “You don’t need new pants just more cake till the old ones fit again.”
overheardla

18.
Cashier: “And how is your day going today, sir?”
Guy: “I’m sorry this like my 87th interaction today and I just don’t have it in me.”
overheardla

19.
“We had of fire the nanny… my husband found her on an escort site.”
“Why was he looking up escorts?”
overheardla

20.
“Sometimes I think I want to have a baby and then I just think I am not even responsible enough for white jeans.”
overheardla

Image Credit: Google Images