#1 We have to deal with spam IRL.
“Excuse me, sir. Praise the Lord. Do you have a minute to take about-”
“Fu*k no.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#2 You ever just hear something and know it didn’t come from a native New Yorker?
“Can you wrap up my vegan cheeseburger and green juice a little more securely? I’m about to rollerblade back to Brooklyn.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#3 It be like that sometimes.
“Yeah man, my building had no water so I brushed my teeth with coconut La Croix.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#4 We define success differently.
“I wish there was a nice way to explain to my friends back home that even though my apartment is the size of their bedroom, I’m more successful than they are.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#5 Trash will pass for decor at times.
“I love how into Halloween New York gets. Look at all the little ghosts in the trees.”
“Those are grocery bags.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#6 This had to be a tourist.
Customer: “Can I ask you a semi-personal question? Do you think this is , like, a safe neighborhood?”
Barista: “Yes, I think Chelsea is a very safe neighborhood”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#7 Riding the subway in New York is a very ~intimate~ experience.
*Commuters on a very packed train
“Would you mind pressing my right headphone twice to skip this song please?”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#8 New York rats have a refined palate.
Exterminator: “What did you bait the traps with?” Roommate: “Peanut butter.” Exterminator: “No good. New York mice only like Nutella.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#9 Finding a good roommate is a struggle to say the least.
“I have to go. I left a pot of water boiling on my stove and my roommate would let our apartment burn down before doing me a fu*king favor.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#10 Even the simplest tasks feel intense.
“I need more Xanax to go grocery shopping in this city than I need to get on an airplane”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#11 Real talk: NYC’s tap water is actually amazing.
Waiter: “Would you like sparkling water or regular a*s water?”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#12 You can’t trust anyone — especially the MTA.
Conductor: “If you don’t fit then step off so I can close the door, another N train is directly behind us.”
Passenger, screaming: “Give us one reason why we should believe you!”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#13 Getting singled out by psychics is like a New York rite of passage.
Psychic yelling to girl passing by: “You shouldn’t be with him!”
Girl: “I’m kind of a hoe so I’ll need you to be more specific.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#14 Who has room for an actual Christmas tree?!
“Instead of getting a Christmas tree let’s just get like 50 succulents and decorate them.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#15 Some things aren’t worth the hike.
“I’m not gonna see his play. Last time I went to some theater way up on the Upper West Side and his character died in the first 10 minutes”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#16 Non-natives are ~very~ sympathetic.
“I’m sorry they gentrified your childhood neighborhood, but their quinoa bowls are heavenly.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#17 We’ve all met this girl before.
“She quit her job and her dad agreed to pay her rent for four months while she tries to make it big on Instagram as a baker.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#18 NYC priorities in a nutshell.
“I’m so broke I stole toilet paper from SoulCycle.”
“You can afford SoulCycle but not toilet paper?”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#19 When your server knows what’s up.
Server: “How is you food? Did everything come out instagrammable?”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#20 Expensive prices are rarely justified.
“$18 for salmon on a bagel? This better be life-changing salmon.”
“If you think about it from the salmon’s perspective, it was.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#21 Not every interaction in NYC is a meet-cute.
*On the train at 103rd
Man waking up: “Are we passed 96?! Why didn’t you wake me up!”
Girl next to him: “….Who the fu*k are you?”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#22 Sometimes performers make money in ways they don’t expect.
*Subway musician walks into E train with guitar and neck harmonica
Passenger, grabbing him by the wrist: “I will give you $20 out of my wallet to not do what you’re about to do.”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#23 No, sir, not today.
*Man slips and almost falls on icy sidewalk
“Bit*h, you thought you had me, motherfu*ker.”
*Continues walking
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

#24 What’s the point?
“I don’t know if I wanna like, sell my car and travel the world, or marry some businessman and have a few kids.”
“Wait… you have a car in New York?”
overheardnewyork / Via instagram.com

More info: overheardnewyork, Preview photo credit: overheardnewyork / instagram.com