If you’ve ever driven for Uber or taken an Uber Pool, the chances are you’ve heard people say some pretty ridiculous things.

Well, luckily, there’s an Instagram account — OverheardUber — that’s gathered some of the funniest stuff people have overheard from Uber passengers, and honestly, it’s pretty hysterical.

#1 The right priorities.
“You puked last night? Where? In the Uber?”
“Are you fu*king kidding me? Nothing is more sacred than my Uber rating… I puked in Brian’s mom’s tomato garden.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#2 I need the backstory to this.
*Hangs up phone
“Omg. Wow. I’m so fu*king mad. Do either of you know how to send someone a computer virus?”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#3 He did what he had to do.
Guy on phone: “sorry. A girl in my pool tried to get us all to introduce ourselves like college orientation, so naturally I had to get out, and I’m gonna be a little late cuz I’m walking now.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#4 Sometimes you just feel something’s not right.
*Girl opens door to Uber pool
“Whoa. Sorry. I’ll cancel… Someone’s aura in here hit me too crazy.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#5 I…didn’t expect this.
*Passenger sneezes*
“Oh whoa! Excuse me. Sir… I was on my way to the ER but I actually just sneezed out this little Lego that was in my nose… So I’m gonna change the address.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#6 Straight-up savage.
Drunk girl talking to married friends: “I’m just upset because I feel like you think I’m pathetic because I’m not married yet…”
“Honestly, Natasha, I’m not trying to be a bit*h… but we literally never think about you.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#7 Who doesn’t like free entertainment?
Passenger: “Are you guys looking for silence or a fun time, because I was thinking about calling my ex to yell at him… but I won’t if you’re not into that drama.
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#8 This is why I always bring headphones.
Guy: “Babe. What do you want?”
Girl: “I just don’t understand… Like… What are we?”
Other passenger: “Oh hell no. Let me get out here.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#9 Some conversations can wait until after you’re dropped off.
“Do you mind if I FaceTime Carly?”
“Dude. No disrespect, but I’d rather show my mom my browser history than have to listen to you and your girlfriend calling each other “babe” for the next 27 minutes.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#10 Uber Pools are ~great~ for socializing.
Guy, exiting pool: “It was so cool to meet you. We should hang out.”
Woman to Driver, as they pull away: “Yeah, I don’t know. I can’t really be friends with someone who says “on my grind” unironically.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#11 A common mistake, tbh.
*Drunk girl finishes explaining that another boy ghosted her
Drunk Girl: “So what was the worst thing to happen to you last year?”
Driver: “I realized I have been praying to the Oxford dictionary for the last 10 years instead of the Bible.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#12 Real talk: Ambulances are wildly expensive.
*Woman falls
Stranger: “Omg. Are you okay? Should we call an ambulance?”
Woman: “The fu*k? Call an Uber.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#13 That feeling when your Uber driver is hot AF.
Passenger entering an uber as other passenger exits: “Hey. You left your hat.”
*passenger grabs it, then pokes head in car to speak to driver
Passenger: “I left this on purpose so you’d have to drop it off… but… can I just get your number?”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#14 Communication is key in every relationship.
Boyfriend to Girlfriend: “Can you roll your window up? You’re acting like you don’t care that just had my hair done.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#15 ~Amazing~ detective skills.
“I suspected she was cheating on me for a few weeks actually… Ever since my side of the memory foam mattress stopped conforming to my body.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#16 Ok, but this isn’t a lie.
“A long-distance relationship is any Uber trip over $20.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#17 This driver must’ve been confused AF.
“I thought I drunkenly broke up with Jeff over text last night but I accidentally wrote it in the “compliments” section of last night’s uber.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#18 We all have this friend.
*Girl, after spending entire ride complaining about a guy who hasn’t texted her
“Oh my God… he texted.”
Passenger in Front Seat: “Girl. At least pretend like you’re gonna listen to the advice we gave you.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#19 Maybe romance isn’t dead after all.
“He sent the uber to my apartment, and then added a second stop to the restaurant.”
“Modern day romance.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#20 Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Passenger to Younger Boy with Mom: “Hey. What’s up, guy?”
Young Boy: “Just tryna get this bread. You?”
Passenger: “Ok. Wow. Didn’t expect that. Same, I guess…”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#21 It’s the simple things in life.
“Is it sad that opening the Uber Eats app gives me greater pleasure than when Matt opened the box with my engagement ring?”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#22 Ubers are a judgment-free zone.
Female passenger: “Am I your first walk of shame today?”
Driver: “Yes, but it’s early.”
Passenger: “I’m ambitious.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

#23 Honestly, relatable.
Driver, after playing his mixtape: “Any requests?”
Passenger: “Silence.”
overhearduber / Via instagram.com

More info: OverheardUber, Preview photo credit: overhearduber / instagram.com