1.
I’ve convinced our 8-yo that I hate the sound of the vacuum so now she vacuums whenever she’s mad at me.
@AnnieMcCarren

2.
I highly suggest you tell your kids to help clean up. They won’t do it, but they will disappear and leave you the hell alone for a few.
@Jenn_H_Scott

3.
If you can’t find your kids at home, turn off the Wi-Fi. It won’t take em long 2 find you. Your Welcome!
@jessnjulio0405

4.
Never, & I mean NEVER make eye contact with a child on the verge of falling asleep.They will sense your excitement & abort mission!
@CaffeineandF

5.
Parenting hack: turn everything into a race. My 4yos both just got dressed in under 50 seconds.
@FatherWithTwins

6.
Parent hack: When you get home, and your kids aren’t there, it’s the perfect time to eat everything you don’t want to share.
@lunchboxdad

7.
Kids were hiding from their chores. Just played a recording of ice cream truck jingles; kids came running…
@Six_Pack_Mom

8.
just put out a plate of vegetables and kids will eat them. Ask them to eat the vegetables and they will scream bloody murder
@adamed

9.
Mom hack: When your kids don’t finish their lemonade, make margaritas.
@UnfilteredMama

10.
Me: clean your room
Kids: *sit n whine for hour*
Me: I can clean faster than u!
Kids: *pick up toys in 10 mins*
@one_busy_mama

11.
Joe: “We’re living the life of luxury! We’ve got BREADSTICKS!”
Parenting hack: keep expectations low.
@Keris

12.
Me: Time for bed
7: I’m not tired
M: Brush your teeth first
7: I’m too tired
@TheAlexNevil

13.
Sometimes I walked past my daughters’ room with headphones connected to nothing so they think I can’t hear them.
@RHairing

14.
How to make a child play with random old, neglected toys…put them in a box by the door for the charity shop!
@sazzlemarie

15.
If you wait long enough to make dinner, everyone will just eat cereal.
It’s science.
@sarcasticmommy4

16.
Right now I’m that dad playing hide & seek with my kid so I can actually get shit done while she thinks she has the “perfect” hiding spot.
@daddydoinwork

17.
“Boys, brush your teeth and get in bed or I’ll make you come out here and watch Bieber!”
@WendiAarons

18.
I’m so grumpy tonight that my kids put themselves to bed just to get away from from me.
Parenting hack.
@katiestrong

19.
Parenting hack: offer to call your kid’s teacher to ask why they’re not teaching if your kid says ‘I don’t know’ to ‘what did you learn’?
@TVRav

20.
Parenthood is:
Telling your kids they can’t eat brownies for breakfast, then eating brownies for breakfast after they leave for school.
@MidgardMomma