1.
me: [selects "send verification code as text" on a website]
me three seconds later: oh boy a tex mesage
juliareinstein

2.
White ppl love to use the bathroom before leaving a restaurant and come out shaking their hands dry saying “ready to rock and roll??”
25_male_nyc

3.
Anyone who doesn’t keep their email in the leftmost tab is a cop
hels

4.
Idk if it’s just me but a free T-shirt can motivate me to do basically anything
_ParkerH

5.
i hate when my friend starts dating an idiot and i have to be like how could you bring this man into our lives
pants_leg

6.
I don’t even open my front facing camera anymore what i look like is none of my business
radioheadass

7.
Who are we?
SINGLE YOUNG PROFESSIONALS
What do we want?
FOR PERISHABLE GROCERIES TO BE SOLD IN SMALLER PORTION SIZES
swaggie_hunter

8.
i get so mad when people ask what i’m gonna do on my day off!!!! bit*h i’m gonna recover from all my days on
pants_leg

9.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? Trash. There is a lot of trash in the sea.
emmabetsinger

10.
The “It’s only $5, why not buy it” mentality has probably cost me like $10,000 at this point in my life.
Maxamil89

11.
IF A BABY HANDS YOU A FAKE PHONE YOU BETTER ANSWER THAT SH*T
arvintgod

12.
My debit card feels more like a gift card…not sure how much is on this, but we’ll give it a try
1Rohde

13.
actually the class system in america is:
- never been to disney
- went to disney once or twice
- goes to disney annually
paddypubs

14.
When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed
When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved
katiebergey

15.
It’s like … you WANT long hair but short hair is so in and trendy rn. But every time you have short hair you want long hair, and when you have long hair you have this wild desire to just CHOP IT ALL OFF. Anyway, have a good day.
alllllisun

16.
You know how when you’re a fast walker and the guy ahead of you is fast too but only 90% as fast as you, so you MUST pass him, but to pass him you have to walk comically faster than your normal speed, or else you’ll be in his personal space too long as you pass? That’s annoying.
gaberivera

17.
A tragedy: when your hair-wash cycle doesn’t coordinate w/ an event & you overestimate the amount of time in which your hair can last w/o being washed
leahbullock_8

18.
Dude I’m the worst when it comes to packing for trips. Like I know I won’t need 20 pairs of underwear for a 5 day trip but what if I pee my pants twice every single day I’m there
rikkibrumbaugh

19.
Me with my hair straightened & me with my natural hair are two different people
dianamc7711

20.
You either unpack ur luggage immediately when you get home or you do it 10 weeks later. no in-between.
desusnice

21.
Me: *accidentally types url wrong one time*
Navigation Bar: [every day for 15 years] Do you wanna go to Faceboot today? Huh? You wanna visit a boot with a face on it? Huh, you piece of sh*t? Is that what you wanna do? Moron
markedly

22.
If you drive past horses and don’t say “horses” you’re a psychopath
aoverill

23.
Movie theater: Please silence your phones.
Me, who hasn’t taken my phone off silent since 2012: *double-checks*
abgates7

Via BuzzFeed