1.
[god creating jellyfish]
— horny rae jepsen (@themiltron) December 26, 2015
how bout an evil bag
2.
[God creating dogs]
— Ygrene (@Ygrene) March 31, 2016
Oh these turned out great. Im going to want all of these back at some point
3.
When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now.
— Nathan of Ulysses (@duplicitron) May 18, 2013
4.
[god drunk, inventing hedgehog]
— beth can't with this (@bourgeoisalien) April 5, 2016
so cute but u can't cuddle it cuz, prickly quills or whatever, hahaha
[passes out] pic.twitter.com/h1o4Tn4Z65
5.
[inventing the parrot]
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) February 18, 2015
HOW ABOUT LIKE A TYE DYE CHICKEN WHO SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU
6.
[creating octopus]
— huntigula (@huntigula) June 22, 2016
GOD: Give it 8 super strong arms & hands
ANGEL: uh, we're out of bones..
GOD: 8 weird floppy arms w/ suction cup things
7.
[god, creating ducks]
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) January 15, 2015
Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don't know
8.
[god making pandas]
— jackson (@yungshepardboy) May 15, 2015
GOD: cow bears
ANGEL: what
GOD: did i fucken stutter
ANGEL:
GOD: take it a cow and make it a bear
9.
[god creating bees]
— horny rae jepsen (@themiltron) April 8, 2015
Put a needle on its butt.
“Come on God, wha—“
Make its puke delicious.
“WTF.”
10.
God, making cats: black! white! stripes!
— emery lord (@emerylord) June 17, 2016
Jesus: no i need a fancy one
God: …ok, this one has socks.
Jesus: more.
God: …tuxedo. done.
11.
[god creating animals]
— k e e t(@KeetPotato) October 2, 2014
ok this ones got a long throat
"ok"
make it literally just a throat
"…"
oh and give it a face
"wtf"
call it a snake
12.
*god making chihuahuas* how bout a big nervous wall-eyed rat
— Fro Vo (@fro_vo) April 6, 2016
13.
[god inventing horses]
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) June 17, 2016
make a sexy donkey
14.
[God creating a turkey]
— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) June 1, 2015
God: Make it like a shitty brown peacock…
Animal technician: Anything else?
God: Hang a nut-sack on it's face lol
15.
[god making bats]
— jackson (@yungshepardboy) March 10, 2015
GOD: just like a hairy black potato with wings
ANGEL: um
GOD:
ANGEL: god?
GOD: also it sleeps upside down like an idiot
16.
[god making chimps]
— jackson (@yungshepardboy) June 13, 2015
GOD: shrink a gorilla & make it smart
ANGEL: Ok. And what sound should it make?
G: literally just have it fucking scream
17.
[god creating whales]
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) December 16, 2015
"I want a fat blue piece of shit with a 20ft dick and it sings underwater. Also get me a beer. No wait five beers"
18.
[God creating platypuses]
— Pope Jim Jam (@jimmytorosian) February 17, 2015
God: This is my best work. Yes, Karen I am high, but that has nothing to do with it. This is perfect. Send it out.
19.
[god creating snakes]
— horny rae jepsen (@themiltron) November 21, 2015
how about a sock that's angry all the time
20.
[God, creating pigeons]
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) August 29, 2015
Make them pace back and forth like a lawyer.
21.
“Things aren’t weird enough down there” – God inventing bugs
— Hippo (@InternetHippo) March 8, 2016
22.
[god inventing this joke format]
— F*** Murray Kill (@MurrayOverboard) April 23, 2016
how about like a fucked up description of an ordinary thing?
23.
[God inventing the hippo]
— tater tot bros (@thetits) March 7, 2016
How bout a fat horse that's always trying to sneak up on you in a pool pic.twitter.com/OadbNojhqQ