1.
me: I'm gonna start eating healthy
— Common White Girl (@commonwhtgirIs) March 15, 2017
Also me: treat yourself one last time, you deserve it pic.twitter.com/kOdWSQaSpE
2.
SUNDAY: buys $100 worth of groceries
— Timmy™ (@TheTimmyToes) June 6, 2017
MON: baked salmon with asparagus
TUES: hamburgers
WED: I'm out of ideas let's order pizza
3.
Me: I feel awful
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 13, 2017
Doctor: Try eating a well balanced diet
Me: ehhhh. What else you got
4.
Me: I'm going to start working out tomorrow.
— SardonicTart (@SardonicTart) May 29, 2017
Him: You say that every day.
Me: Yes but this time I'm not drunk.
5.
Personal Trainer: No pain, no gain
— It's Abby. Yep. (@abbycohenwl) March 11, 2016
Me: Deal
6.
Doctor: drink 2 cups of water before each meal
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 12, 2017
Me: why?
D: it tricks your stomach into thinking its full
M: that sounds like a mean trick
7.
I diet every day until about noon.
— ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ(s) (@3sunzzz) January 31, 2016
8.
Me after saying no to mimosas at brunch once pic.twitter.com/cHILN3CXqN
— Kyle Patrick (@kyry5) March 12, 2017
9.
Use cauliflower as a substitute for mashed potatoes, rice, and any joy in your life. You have no friends now, there is only cauliflower.
— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) March 11, 2017
10.
Friend: I'm surprised to see you eating a salad.
— Victoria Sofia (@Ideal_Victoria) February 24, 2016
Me: *empties bag of chocolate chips over it*
11.
"Why can't I lose weight?" he thought, while comfortably laying in bed drinking a cookies n cream milkshake.
— eric (@ericsshadow) June 9, 2017
12.
AT A WHOLE FOODS: this change begins now. a better diet means a better me.
— demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) October 19, 2015
AT A GAS STATION: whats these two slushies taste like… together
13.
Drinking wheatgrass juice is a great way to know what being a lawnmower tastes like.
— Super Randomish (@SuperRandomish) May 20, 2017
14.
1. Wear Fitbit
— Girl On Tapas (@girlontapas) August 12, 2016
2. Pack gym clothes
3. Pack salad
4. Go to work
5. Eat donut
6. Go out for lunch
7. Skip gym
Rinse and Repeat.
15.
Why do I feel like shit whenever I eat pizza? Am I not eating enough pizzas
— Elvish Presley (@_ElvishPresley_) June 10, 2017
16.
When you cheat on your diet. pic.twitter.com/JlZIHIcSOJ
— Khadi Don (@KhadiDon) July 1, 2016
17.
me: I'm gonna start eating healthy and exercising *hears bag of chips being opened* me: pic.twitter.com/t5u5yIuQj5
— Kardashian Reactions (@KardashianHumor) August 19, 2016
18.
The best thing about working out and eating well is knowing that eventually I'll be dead and won't have to do this anymore
— beth argyropoulos (@bourgeoisalien) September 1, 2016
19.
I long to go back in time and revel in that feeling of desperate optimism that swept over me 6 days ago when I bought this bag of spinach.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 3, 2017