#1

One night in college, my roommate got super drunk pretty quickly and ended up getting sick. We handed her a trashcan, with trash already in it. She puked a few times and started crying, and then looked in the can and yelled, OMG I THREW UP A FORK?!

— Girl Who Came to Stay (@Mom_Overboard) August 16, 2020

#2

go to therapy https://t.co/bVk4yfeQ1p

— AKC (@AshleeCartier) August 16, 2020

#3

When I cook with cilantro I throw in a little soap too so no one feels genetically superior to anyone else

— court (@uspellCoUrTNey) August 15, 2020

#4

my little sister is staying home for her first semester of college so i'm gonna puke in her shower and set off the fire alarm at 3am so she can get the true freshman year dorm experience

— b (@doyalikebaileys) August 21, 2020

#5

“when ima see u??”
by accident

— doaa(@pettyreligion) August 19, 2020

#6

Y’all be manifesting everything but common sense

— GLOW (@Goddess__BRI) August 14, 2020

#7

it is quite possible that at one point, a samurai used a fax machine pic.twitter.com/xwejC3Lzt0

— guilloqueen (@BitchWithA_W) August 19, 2020

#8

the ocean is technically soup bc it has salt veggies meat and it’s been heating up

— mango propaganda account (@grovymango) August 21, 2020

#9

It’s 2:40am and I found my child in the dogs bed brushing the dog with my toothbrush. pic.twitter.com/AHRE3OGuZD

— not so flashy words (@KendrasUsername) August 15, 2020

#10

Just went to the bathroom raw (left my phone in the living room)

— Sabina (@sabinameschke) August 13, 2020

#11

I thought about doing something productive. Then I laid down for a few minutes, and the feeling passed.

— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) August 23, 2020

#12

My friends: so why did you break up?

Me: pic.twitter.com/KaWeD8XdSW

— Wagatwe Wanjuki (@wagatwe) August 18, 2020

#13

Mentally, I am here pic.twitter.com/C03R4mD7cI

— rave angel (∞%) BLACK LIVES MATTER (@thedriedsoap) August 18, 2020

#14

I went in my brothers room just now to talk to him, and I layed in his bed and poked him. And some random girl turned around and said “Your brother went to get us food”. WTF.

— Kat (@Katya_hdz98) August 22, 2020

#15

This girl said SparkNotes the room if you not gon read it

— Big Demeanor (@nonprofithoe) August 20, 2020

#16

I’m sorry… this color is… what? pic.twitter.com/1vTHY0ags5

— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) August 18, 2020

#17

This is what I imagine what it's like being a working parent of young children during a pandemic https://t.co/8ubAmHu51Z

— Mallory Yu (@mallory_yu) August 20, 2020

#18

Girl what even? Am I tripping or is this behavior just goofy as heck? pic.twitter.com/u2wND1h8GK

— dan (@danyellsdan) August 20, 2020

Preview photo credit: thedriedsoap / twitter.com