1.
When your straight friend Jean makes a funny joke pic.twitter.com/o180oOeqye
— joey (@joeyz95) July 23, 2017
2.
Me: Who needs antidepressants? I'll just listen to Hey Ya by Outkast daily
— A bi gal (@abbynotabigail_) July 22, 2017
Narrator: But things were not alright alright alright alright
3.
Thanks for the clarification, Dad. pic.twitter.com/Y2ulMh7sJV
— Ray (@rayy_baybay) July 21, 2017
4.
more bad news for single people pic.twitter.com/Qvyn98PxAQ
— Harry Moore (@Harry_Moore_) July 19, 2017
5.
"Wow 3 tattoos.. those are pretty permanent you know"
— Emily Barry (@EmiBarry) July 26, 2017
Me: wow 3 kids… those are pretty damn permanent CAROL
6.
my mom asked me for a pic of ed sheeran and i tried to be funny and i edited it i didnt know she was gonna frame it a week later jfc pic.twitter.com/uFNzgnztaF
— goth turtle (@dubstep4dads) July 13, 2017
7.
my ubereats delivery man decided to be a smart ass…… pic.twitter.com/8MrPM5E5Mv
— ace (@iamalishajo) July 17, 2017
8.
When a witch says your tongue has to float in the middle of your mouth without touching anything or you'll die. pic.twitter.com/AbL9oNw4Is
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) July 12, 2017
9.
Well, that doesn't seem like a proportional response. pic.twitter.com/PMQvxqquLe
— Mark Lazerus (@MarkLazerus) July 25, 2017
10.
dont you just love slow burn pic.twitter.com/mzMhehCQap
— poikazansu (@poika_) July 9, 2017
11.
That don't impress me much pic.twitter.com/e9uFC2JBJO
— Ben (@islandniles) July 21, 2017
12.
the four genders pic.twitter.com/Hxwh1Jkl2W
— adult dark sheep (@chaeronaea) June 28, 2017
13.
yall tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.
— childish sadbino (@datassque) July 30, 2017
14.
Me: could i have a pepsi
— rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) June 2, 2016
Waiter: is pepsi ok- OMG *eyes getting watery* finally
Me: *smiling through tears* yeah
*we kiss*
15.
When you're so high on dentist gas the Water Buffalo Of Drugs visits you. pic.twitter.com/uqVHCVEoe4
—July 18, 2017
16.
Another juggler gives up on his dreams… pic.twitter.com/FXv5YWQQra
— Ben McCool (@BenMcCool) July 2, 2017
17.
my fav colour is also hitler pic.twitter.com/0tMnOGpsOG
—July 23, 2017
18.
Roommate has date coming by later and asked me to clean bc he's not home. So I made a Princess D shrine in his room pic.twitter.com/wfOeVUm7yW
— Deep Web Italian (@Deno_Tron) July 1, 2017
19.
Today, I flew on the set of a nightmare. pic.twitter.com/PNI4KmQvTG
— Jessie Char (@jessiechar) July 19, 2017
20.
Me in court: your honor i would like to plead guilty as well as request the death penalty
— rat mic (@loopzoop) June 25, 2017
Judge: this….is a parking ticket….
21.
We all deal with grief in different ways pic.twitter.com/uqaj4KgR9n
— E-LOVE (@BRUHNICEVIDEO) July 14, 2017
22.
Text from mum – having trouble sticking lashes on without her glasses.. turns out she was trying to glue a dead fly to her eyelid. I'm out. pic.twitter.com/2vNpcW5l5n
— Molly Robbins (@MCreativeCakes) July 29, 2017
23.
Delivery guy: Could I use your toilet?
— Barnesy (@3arnesy) July 27, 2017
Me: Yes sure it's the door under the stairs.
Delivery guy: Which one?
Me: Erm, the person sized door. pic.twitter.com/DBBpYiUC1W
24.
WIFE: This is for a tweet isn't it… pic.twitter.com/IdmJSTDtnf
— Ian Kingston (@IanJKingston) May 22, 2017
25.
"You lucky this man holding me back. Next time you say my moms neck game crazy he won't be here to save yo ass" pic.twitter.com/VnWnoF6zsA
— Purp (@Purpdapurp) October 15, 2015
26.
Shark week is actually the safest time to go to the beach because all the sharks are busy being on TV
— Eric Thomas (@EricThomas_311) July 24, 2017
27.
A simple way to help you remember how to spell "honey" pic.twitter.com/y3COkiJLAK
— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) July 17, 2016
28.
Sideshow Bob's on the move pic.twitter.com/zWaFqb7BX3
— Anna (@annagrayy) June 28, 2017
29.
When sequels go bad… pic.twitter.com/FjfBdYoWlF
— Geraint (@geraintgriffith) July 10, 2017
30.
Riley, you're a genius. pic.twitter.com/Lp3VAf7C2Q
— Joel Willans (@Joelwillans) July 30, 2017
31.
I'm no geologist but this is quite an interesting Rock formation. pic.twitter.com/oPrh6j1y2x
— Daniel (@DannyDutch) July 25, 2017