1.
*adds ‘haha’ at the end of my completely non-funny text message to ensure that the recipient knows i’m a lighthearted, nice person who knows how to have a good time*
parahumor

2.

sleepythug

3.
when the artist u hate releases a catchy song

envycamacho

4.

toferjv

5.
female character in every single romance movie: it’s beautiful isn’t it?
male character in every single romance movie: (looking at her) yeah it is
cryinodonoghue

6.

quotethatword

7.
Thanks. It has pockets!
— every person ever responding to a compliment on a skirt/dress that has pockets
captainmarvel

8.
Where ya goin bitch

kaliforhnia

9.
team “I wore this yesterday but I’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”
imaglne

10.
That look ur mom gives u when u embarrass her in public but she can’t kill u yet

ruinedchildhood

11.
I’m giving up alcohol for a month.
Wait sorry, that didn’t come out right:
I’m giving up. Alcohol for a month.
shouldnt

Hahagood one sharon! Tell the kids I say hi! Angie wants to bring the snacks to the little league game on saturday
heeb-y

LOL……. Bob’s gonna love this one!!! :-)
spicy-vagina-tacos

12.
The wait worth it

blacktwittercomedy

13.
*something falls behind my bed*
“well it was really nice having that thing. Goodbye”
clestroying

14.
“I have read the Terms and Conditions”

hotboysofficial

15.
when you’re wrapping presents and the scissors glide
fuck yes
squidkitten

16.
Whenever i get back from the store

thebestoftumbling

17.
my hobbies
• switching between the same three apps for hours
• not speaking to anyone for days at a time
• listening to the same songs i have been listening to for 20 years
• imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
Way too accurate.
cokezeroaddict

18.

australiansanta